Prank call shows, with friends

On this short episode I try the following premises:

• Returning a thermos full of premium gasoline I borrowed from cars in the hotel parking lot
• Asking whose job I'm taking over at the front desk
• Confessing that I've been siphoning feathers from hotel pillows for years to make and sell new pillows
• Introducing myself as the new manager and coaching a clerk on a heartier, faster phone greeting
• Asking the front desk to watch my race dogs, until 4AM while I go to the club
• Asking clerks to please hurry and move faster, without ever explaining for what

Thanks to

• @PhoneLosers for the race dogs idea
• @YourMum for the "go slower" idea
• @AndyAnderson for the shoe title
• all Patreons

This is the version of the show to give to all your grandparents and 7th cousins!

Apple -https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-machine-ranch-road/id6816469038

Spotify -https://open.spotify.com/show/6RvzqTcFx4qjvZ9e2LLPPN

If you enjoy the show please share it around.

Jason travels All the Way to New York in order to Try and make some new friends.

📖 Read (or listen) to my book about making friends 📖 -
https://www.amazon.com/Developing-New-Friendships-Understanding-Friends-ebook/dp/B0D25HLD71

▶️Watch me on YouTube▶️ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChCDAOpS0NLpxTvT4JiQm3A

💪Support The Show AND get merch💪
MERCH - https://the-help-machine.printful.me

https://www.twitch.tv/gweenimp

On this spooktacular pre-loween episode I try to create legends in hotels by reporting ghost encounters:

• Asking a hotel if it's haunted after a sad maid from the 1920s walked right through me on the stairs (the clerk confirmed they have a ghost in a flannel shirt)
• Following a dream to a hotel, where I saw a woman in 90s clothes with a crying baby arguing with someone named Walter on the stairwell, then vanishing
• Letting a known haunted hotel know our amateur ghost hunting club performed an exorcism and removed the bones from their property
• Reporting a haunted bathroom where every faucet turned on by itself and a hand reached up from below to flush the toilet while I was sitting on it
• Tracking down Room 112, where I believe I was conceived before being dropped off at an orphanage by a woman who died 70 years earlier
• Calling a number that came to me in a vision and getting a crash course in the Urantia Book, despite my short term memory loss
• Warning hotels about a dream where their phone number burned like the sun above the message "All is peril in the land of ice" (one clerk worked out what it meant and brought in housekeeping)

Thanks to

• @eingilardi for the spooky calls idea
• @iRegretJumping for the exorcism idea
• @itsTiff for the haunted hotel and the Urantia number
• @Speem and @Bray90820 for the haunted hotel numbers
• all Patreons

On this episode I try the following premises:

• I'm Running for hotel general manager and asking the front desk staff for their vote (my platform: a pool in every room and double overtime)
• Letting a clerk know I wrote him in as a candidate for general manager in hotel elections
• Petitioning to rename the general manager position to "general personager," as a feminist (or fewomanist as they should really be called)
• Warning hotels that there's no lobbying allowed in the lobby within 50 feet of the hotel voting machines
• Delivering three voting booths on a pallet to a lobby
• Booking an entire motel to convert every room into a voting booth
• Asking a Hampton Inn to vote on shutting the other Hampton Inn down
• Reporting a man walking his dog while naked under his clothes
• Reporting a man walking through the parking lot with a spooky skeleton inside of him
• Asking taxidermists to turn a medical cadaver into a Halloween skeleton, and to stuff my neighbor's cat so he never finds out I hit it
• Asking a taxidermist to reverse the taxidermy on my deer so I can set it free

Happy Halloween! And check out deadair.co.

Thanks to

• @kali for the lobbying, electional dysfunction, and reverse taxidermy ideas
• @And Anderson for the write-in idea
• @Starry for the genital erection pun
• all Patreons

On this episode I try the following premises:

• Asking hotels to watch my great aunt at the front desk for 20 minutes because my wife is ovulating (one clerk gave us Room 4 for free)
• Announcing that I'm ovulating, and asking if we can use the hotel dumpster for privacy if they just tell guests it's being fumigated
• Asking a clerk to distract my wife for 20 minutes because my aunt is ovulating
• Recruiting the front desk to be my wingman with a newlywed bride by distracting her husband (I offered $6)
• Leaving my great aunt chained to a pole with my manacles while we conceive, and naming the baby after the motel owners
• Informing hotels that I am testiculating
• Asking where to put my deceased great aunt's urn, and then my taxidermied golden retriever, so they're not in the car while we conceive (plus a very detailed explanation of how conception works)
• Calling into a live hip hop call in show and asking for a brother pass
• Asking what's in the hotel receipt paper I ate, since I'm lactose intolerant
• Warning hotels about a man in the parking lot who is suing all over people, deposing witnesses, and filing a birthday suit
• Sending my kid to the hotel in an Uber so the front desk can watch her until 2AM while I'm at the casino
• Asking Trader Joe's if my service dog Guinevere (two poodles in a trench coat) has finished doing my grocery shopping
• Tracking down my robot personal shopper that went offline in Trader Joe's (it looks like an old lady)

Thanks to

• @IRegretJumping for the show title "testiculating," the ovulating aunt, and the casino ideas
• @JoeFather for the standing ovulation
• @ParkMan for finding the live call in show
• @kali for the robot shopper idea
• @dialer for the sound effects board
• all Patreons